Took you long enough, bonerparty. I had a LiveJournal entry from February 2005 reviewing an awesome Joanna Newsom concert I had just gone to that included this same picture as well as a quality analysis of her butt. Excerpt: “Instead, the first thing Denise and Jamie said, almost simultaneously, was: ‘Oh my God. Look at her ass.’ Yes, dear reader, it was true.” Etc. Bonerparty must be slipping if they forgot to mention that thing.
what’s fucking great about cultural gentrification is, like, fifty years ago i’d have to go to Appalachia to bang chicks like Joanna Newsom. and even then i’d have to arm wrestle a bearded guy for her under a full moon while the whole village clapped.
now all i have to do is hop on a train to Brooklyn and PRESTO. i’m *THIS* close to moving out there and just putting a bottle of Charles Shaw and a Smiths record on the end of a fishing pole and dangling it out my window.
Lalu Prasad Yadav was India’s Minister of Railways from 2004-2009. That means he had 1.5 million employees working for him for five years — more people called this hairy-eared dude boss than anyone else in the world.
Crazy? Yeah. Now who’s the boss of this ridiculous number of employees? Mamata Banerjee, a woman from West Bengal. Fuck yeah, India.
[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]
Sleigh Bells, “Ring Ring,” from the album oh shit they don’t have an album yet that’s how fresh this shit is!
Michael Moore, the herbivore!?
I am totally stereotyping you based on your dietary habits, but I would guess that most of you Vegansaurus readers fall somewhere in the “not retarded” side of the political spectrum. With a notable Ron Paul/libertarian contingent in there somewhere (I’m looking at you, Silicon Valley!) (Also, WTF is wrong with you? That dude is an anti-gay, anti-women’s rights bigot who looks like a living toothpick, and Ayn Rand was a delusional social Darwinist and, more importantly, a crappy writer!). So, what I’m saying is: you should totally go watch the new Michael Moore film!
Capitalism: A Love Story is Moore’s least partisan, most personal, and most common-sense film yet. And also probably the most radical, ‘cause he wants to get rid of the Stock Exchange, but hey – I’m poor and don’t own any stocks so whatevs. I know tons of people who agree with Moore’s ideas love to complain about his way of presenting them, but to you folks I say: uh, if you don’t like your progressive facts sprinkled with humor and blatant expression of the author’s opinion, then why are you reading Vegansaurus?
Anyways, in Moore’s most recent post to his website, “Michael Moore’s Action Plan: 15 Things Every American Can Do Right Now,” he lists fourteen things that anybody can do to fight the destructive cycle of corporate greed and ends with the “duh” but nice advice, “take care of yourself and your family.” Among Moore’s recs: get enough sleep, be nice, read books, and eat “mostly plants.” Although Moore doesn’t come out and say that veganism is where it’s at, hey, it’s a start! As Vegansaurus’ head honcho wisely said, “We need to reach out to Moore, not attack him for being a live-action hamburglar.” Yeah, it’s hard to reach out to someone you can’t even put your arms around, but dude – the most successful documentary filmmaker in history is advocating a plant-based diet! Woo hoo! There’s been a sort-of contentious relationship between Moore and Animal Rights folks because of stuff like this but let’s put that behind us because he can and should be a great ally.
Mad thanks to Ben Pearson for his ability to leave the house and watch movies and report on shit for us. You’re doing better than the rest of us, sir.
You’re An American Apparel Model
Okay, so we’ve been dating for a while now and you have yet to put pants on. I’m sorry, but I can’t introduce you to my family while you’re wearing a see through mesh bodysuit. I just don’t think my grandmother would appreciate an up close view of your vagina. Just a hunch I had. Ugh. This is really hard for me to say, but- I’m sorry, can you cover your nipples for ONE second? This is kind of important. I don’t think this is working out, and- no, I don’t know where you can get some more coke, but that’s sort of the prob- it’s really hard for me to have this conversation with you when you’re writhing around on the floor like a sexy jellyfish. Use your bones like people do. Also, you’re always rubbing your eyes and looking bewildered like you just woke up from a nightmare. Have you been sleeping on the floor again? Oh, this is pretty troubling, but you seem to have a habit of yelling “Dov!” while we’re having sex and then bursting out laughing and THEN crying. You know that’s not my name, right? And how many “corporate retreats” does your company take you on? You’re always leaving for days on end, and you always wake up in dingy basements. Your “job” is starting to sound like you’re just being routinely kidnapped every few days. Well, I guess that’s it. I actually feel a lot better, thanks for finally listening. Babe? Sweetie? You okay? Oh shit. Oh no! Wake up! Does anyone have any cocaine? Perhaps a Polaroid camera? Some sugar free Red Bull, maybe? Get me a flash drive with Girl Talk on it, STAT! A life is hanging in the balance!
i actually dated an American Apparel model once. it was kind of like dating ‘An Idea’ or ‘The Concept Of Bunny Rabbits’. it seemed really cool at first and then you were left wondering why she was always texting people with present tense verbs for names and why she kept applying powdered sugar to her gums.
Diabetes is a disease that is very common, but most people don’t know too much about it. One of the many secrets about diabetes is that it’s a very musical disease. Bret Michaels, of Poison and the award-winning documentary series Rock of Love, is a type 1 diabetic and one of the greatest musicians of our time. Most opera singers are very large, which puts them at risk for developing type 2 diabetes (aka, poseur-betes). Type 1 diabetics make lots of beautiful beeping and buzzing noises from our insulin pumps and glucose monitors (once, a roommate created a cell phone ring for himself that sounded like my insulin pump — it’s such a beautiful noise that most people just want to hear it all the time!). And anyone who has heard an old person like Wilford Brimley pronounce “diabetus” immediately realizes that most chronic illnesses sound much more musical in a folksy way when you mispronounce them with a “u” sound in the final syllable — even AIDUS.
This rap takes the beautiful music of diabetes to da next level. It really covers all the bases: Wilford Brimley, the deliciousness of glucose tablets to non-diabetics, insulin pump color options. Enjoy.
